The CBE Scroll

by Mary Ann and Sam

Mary Ann:
Did you know there was a man in biblical times who took his wife’s family name?  In Nehemiah 7:63, a man is mentioned named Barzillai, who had married a woman who was a descendant of Barzillai of Gilead and had taken her family name.  He changed his name to hers!  When a friend first mentioned this, I thought she was kidding.  Isn’t it practically biblical for a woman to take her husband’s name when she gets married? The answer, surprisingly, is no!!  It’s western tradition, but it’s not biblical.

When we first got married, Sam and I really wrestled with the name change (some of you may remember that I blogged about it).  We wanted to be able to represent the uniqueness and individuality which God gave to us both while also representing the oneness.  But how could we represent both of our identities, both of our ethnicities and both of our backgrounds?  He didn’t want me to give up my name.  I didn’t want him to give up his name.  But practically speaking, it seemed much better to have the same last name.

Sam:
In our marriage, there is mutual submission because we believe in Biblical equality (Eph 5:21).  Each spouse has equal footing in all aspects of marriage. We have equal value and equal input in everything. When one of us sees a need, that one fills it. If dishes need to be washed and Mary Ann is tied up, I’ll do them, and vice versa. (Most of the time, we do it together because we love spending that time together.) The same goes for laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping — everything. We make all decisions together, big or small. If we’re stuck at an impasse, we’ll talk it through until we’re at mutual agreement. I have no desire or need for veto power (which by the way, I think that “veto power” is a terrible idea if you want harmony in your relationship).  I am no better, smarter, privileged, or more valuable than she is, nor she than I. God made us equally in His image, and we are both intrinsically valued.

So because we are equals, when it came to deciding what to do about our last name, I had to humbly ask myself who was I to say that Mary Ann had to drop her last name and take mine? It’s the same effect as asking of myself, would I be willing to drop my last name and take hers? That thought didn’t sit well with me when I thought about it initially, because it made me realize how drastic of a change it is to lose your last name. The dilemma we faced was, whose name would be dropped? We eventually realized that there was a way to not have to drop either last name but, rather, to include them both.

Mary Ann:
Most people (Christians, mainly) don’t really think twice about having the woman change her name.  And if Sam was a lesser man, he might have set his manhood on a need to brand me with his name.  However, his determination in our having an “inclusive name” (he coined that phrase) despite the challenges and difficulties of changing his name (with the California legal system) and whatever flak he may incur from traditionalists has augmented my admiration of him as a man.  Through this journey, I have learned that he is unflappable in his purpose when he is certain about a course of action, he is confident in who he is as one who answers only to God and not anyone else, and he is secure in his manhood.  He has made me adore him even more so than ever, and I am so proud to share a name with him.

A few weeks ago, he and I both officially changed our name.  We both added the other’s surname to our own to make an inclusive name (someone else would call it ‘hyphenated’).

Sam:
We decided on her surname first and then mine because it has a nice ring to it. I like it. Not only does it represent both of our identities, but it also represents our new family — a product of diversity and a blending of two cultures.

Dr. Richard S. Hess, Earl S. Kalland Professor of Old Testament and Semitic Languages at Denver Seminary, contributed a chapter studying Genesis 1-3 in the volume on Discovering Biblical Equality, IVP 2005, edited by Rebecca M. Groothuis and Ronald W. Pierce with Gordon D. Fee as a contributing editor. A critique of this article appeared in the Journal of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (volume 10, spring 2005). In Dr. Hess’ article, linked below, he provides a detailed evaluation of this critique as well as an overall perspective on the fundamental issues dividing the two contributors. Disputes regarding the use of New Testament texts vs. the use of Old Testament texts, the creation order, and the acts of naming receive special consideration. The reader will also learn about the major differences in the use of Scripture in this important discussion.

  Reflections on Genesis 1-3 (75.6 KiB, 192 downloads)

I know it is some time since this book, written by William P. Young and published in 2007, was in the public gaze of the Christian community but I have only just read it. I find myself in agreement with the comment by Eugene Peterson, “This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress did for his. It’s that good!”

What I would like to do is just put a portion of it up as a post and let people comment. This section takes in a conversation between God, addressed here as Papa, and Mackenzie, the principal character in the book. Excerpts, beginning at page 121.

“I love how you treat each other. It’s certainly not how I expected God to be.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, I know that you are one and all, and that there are three of you. But you respond with such graciousness to each other. Isn’t one of you more the boss than the other two?”

The three looked at one another as if they had never thought of such a question.

“I mean,” Mack hurried on, “I’ve always thought of God the Father as sort of being the boss and Jesus as the one following orders, you know, being obedient. I’m not sure how the Holy Spirit fits in exactly. He … I mean, she … uh” Mack tried not to look at Sarayu as he stumbled for words. “… Whatever – the Spirit always seemed a kind of a … uh …”

“A free Spirit?” offered Papa.

“Exactly-a free Spirit, but still under the direction of the Father. Does that make sense?”

Jesus looked over at Papa, obviously trying with some difficulty to maintain the perception of a very serious exterior. “Does that make sense to you Abba? Frankly, I haven’t a clue what this man is talking about.”

Papa scrunched her face up as if exerting great concentration.”Nope, I have been trying to make head or tail out of it, but sorry, he’s got me lost.”

“You know what I’m talking about.” Mack was a little frustrated. “I’m talking about who’s in charge. Don’t you have a chain of command?”

“Chain of command? That sounds ghastly!” Jesus said. 

“At least binding,” Papa added as they both started laughing, and then Papa turned to Mack and sang,”Though chains be of gold, they are chains all the same.”

“Now don’t concern yourself with those two,” Sarayu interrupted, reaching out to comfort and calm him. “They’re just playing with you. This is actually a subject of interest among us.”

Mack nodded, relieved and a little chagrined that he had again allowed himself to lose his composure.

“Mackenzie, we have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or ‘great chain of being’ as your ancestors termed it. What you are seeing here is a relationship without any overlay of power. We don’t need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem, not ours.”

“Really? How so?”

“Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people could work together without someone being in charge.”

“But every human institution that I can think of, from political to business, even down to marriage, is governed by this kind of thinking; it is the web of our social fabric,” Mack asserted.

“Such a waste!” said Papa, picking up the empty dish and heading for the kitchen.

“It’s one reason why experiencing true relationship is so difficult for you,” Jesus added. “Once you have a hierarchy  you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules, and you end up with some kind of chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it. You rarely see or experience relationship apart from power. Hierarchy imposes laws and rules and you end up missing the wonder of relationship that we intended for you.”

End of quote, but the conversation continuing to the end of this chapter entitled, ‘A Breakfast of Champions’, is so refreshing. Granted that it is fictional and the substance of a supposed ‘out of body’ experience, but could this also be true to life and even possibly Biblical? I’d certainly like to believe so.

I have a dear precious friend who was walking to work one morning in the rural parts of a city somewhere in eastern Europe when along came one of her co-workers in a car with two other men. He saluted her and pulled over the car to ask her if she wanted a ride to work since that’s where they were both heading anyway. Knowing him for several years now and being family friends, she decided to take him up on his offer. Little did she know that that decision would determine her fate for the next two years. After a few minutes of driving she was threatened with a gun and restrained by the men.

She was sold, and had switched hands a few times after being so easily smuggled across borders. Finally she reached her destination and was imprisoned in an apartment with fifteen other women. A few hours after her arrival it was initiation time. This meant she was beaten savagely and ganged raped by four men. She was now a modern-day sex slave, and forced to service between 10 – 20 men a day. Many of whom were NATO soldiers and police men.

Throughout the years the women were bought and sold repeatedly. They were denied basic hygiene and barely feed. They were treated worse than animals, and some were even murdered before her eyes. Many of the sexual acts committed against her were not of natural pleasures. At some points she was even defecated on! She has told me many times she is convinced that most of the clients did not have souls, and were incapable of pity. For they all knew that the women were held  against their will, yet they did nothing to help them. The mockery and jeering from the men was unreal. To them she was only a body worth 20 euros. The women were beaten twice a day even if they were obedient, as a way to reinforce control over them and keep them physically weak. They were retained with guns and were too hungry and weak to fight.

Finally after two years there was a police raid and she was arrested, treated like a criminal, and deported for being in the country illegally. And of course, since she was not a citizen of that country, she had no legal rights to prosecute her captors. The men were released after only a few hours. For kidnapping, for rape, for beatings, for starvation, and for mutilation of her body parts, she had no rights to social justice.

She is now back with her family and looked upon like a disease in her home church because of the disgrace done to her. My heart bleeds for her every day. And I know that her cries for justice reach Heaven.
The Salvation Army is very much involved in stopping the worldwide sex slave industry also. For more information on their work go to:
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf/0/8d0b27d09bdfece685256eb5006a94f0/$FILE/TSA%20Anti-Trafficking%20Activities%20Summary.pdf.
An article describing why the Salvation Army has gotten involved in working against sexual slavery can be found at: http://www.nationalreview.com/interrogatory/thompson200601260827.asp
And here are other resources on this subject:
http://www.equalitydepot.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=658
http://www.equalitydepot.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=837
http://www.cbeinternational.org/new/E-Journal/2007/07spring/07springwelch.html
Please pray that God will stop this horrible crime against humanity.

In Genesis we read the description of how things would be between Eve & Adam after they had both disobeyed God’s direct command. No matter what translation we read, the end result is the same – the woman’s desire would be toward her husband and he would rule over her.  The woman would have increased pain in childbirth and the man would have to work hard to make a living from the ground which now had thorns and weeds.

The reality is now that many women do not have to experience pain in childbirth and many men do not have to work the land to make a living. Only a small percentage of believers teach that women should refuse pain relief in childbirth and likewise, only a small percentage of believers teach that men should all work as farmers without any form of weed control. 

But….many believers teach that wives should show desire toward their husbands and that husbands should rule their wives (albeit lovingly) Why the strict adherance to one part of God’s judgment on the sin of Eve & Adam and the ignoring of the other statements ? 

Redemption through Christ’s reconciling work on the cross brings release from the judgment and consequences of the first sin which includes the pronouncements made by God to Adam & Eve after they had disobeyed. So, if there is a continuing to live under the judgment of their sin and our own subsequent sin, surely we are following after our sin nature and not the new life we have been given through Jesus.

Maybe there is something inherent in the sin nature that tends toward hierarchy and gender roles and that is why so many respond to this teaching which strikes a chord deep within the human heart. Praise God our hearts and minds can be transformed to see a new way of living in relationship with each other……..but it can take some time.