The CBE Scroll

The year 1994 witnessed the debut of a little family film known as The Swan Princess, one of several attempts by non-Disney enterprises to grab a slice of Disney’s highly successful fairy tale princesses franchise. My parents, who bought just about every movie that came out on video, quickly added it to our VHS collection once it had finished its theatrical run, and upon viewing it I found it to be a mediocre offering. Not an instant classic like other animated films, but certainly not hateable in its badness.
One scene from the movie did stick in my mind though. You’ll have to familiarize yourself with the film’s plot if you want more details, but in the beginning, Prince Derek makes an awkward and sudden proposal to Princess Odette based solely on her good looks. “You’re everything I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!” Derek gushes. “Thank you,” replies Odette, “but what else?” As our ham-fisted protagonist, Derek is obviously confused by this inquiry and after hemming and hawing for a moment, blurts out, “What else is there?”
Ah, silly Prince Derek. We of this enlightened post-modern feminist era know so much better than to limit our praises of women to their beauty.
Or do we?
A good friend of mine told me that he thought about this recently as he watched a few very different shows where males and females were introduced. “I noticed that the women were invariably introduced with a reference to their beauty,” my friend said, “Which makes perfect sense when introducing a woman who’s job is at least largely, if not entirely, dependent on being physically attractive—model, newscaster, emcee, actress—but some of the women I saw introduced as ‘the beautiful/lovely [name]‘ were athletes, politicians, or authors.”
I’m sorry to say, I’m not sure that the Church is doing much better on this matter. In my eighteen years as a Christian, I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard male pastors, speakers and missionaries reference their “beautiful/lovely/gorgeous” wives, often with nary a word as to what else it is that they love about their wives. I currently attend a fairly conservative evangelical seminary where my classes sometimes have a male-female ratio of 4:1, and it’s not uncommon for class members to introduce themselves at the start of the semester with some brief words about their families. In this setting, too, I continue to hear regular talk of how pretty the wives are. I don’t blame my peers, as my guess is that they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Romantic paternalism seems deeply embedded within evangelical culture.
As a married female student whose husband is not enrolled in seminary, I’ve struggled with how to introduce my own family when my turn comes around. I could introduce him as “my handsome husband,” but I’m not sure implementing my own brand of romantic maternalism really solves the problem. I could avoid descriptors, but that sounds dull. I could leave out mention of him altogether, but I worry that those who know I am married will think I’m choosing not to discuss my marriage for the wrong reasons. So I’ve taken to mentioning his other qualities: my selfless husband, my courageous husband, my creative and talented husband. He certainly likes it much better when I brag about him for those reasons rather than for his smokin’ good looks.
Which isn’t to say, men, that you can’t praise your wife’s good looks to others from time to time. I assume that good looks were on the list of reasons why you were attracted to her in the first place, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s nice to get compliments on my own appearance from time to time, and I enjoy giving them almost as much as getting them.
I simply echo the question that Odette asked above: “Thank you, but what else?”
Proverbs 31:10-31 contains a rather famous list of desirable qualities in a godly wife. The only thing that list has to say about good looks?
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, TNIV)
Amen to that.

Like a swimmer gripped by an undertow, the following words in the Bible when taken out of context and misinterpreted can pull women down spiritually.

“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says… it is disgraceful for a women to speak in the church.” (1 Corinthians 14:34, 35b TNIV)

Feel the strong undercurrents “disgraceful” carries. To be disgraced is to have brought shame upon one’s self and to have lost favor and respect. So when the above verses are isolated, they appear to tell all women that if they do not silence their voices and become mute within the church, then they will be viewed with shame and dishonor. Words from their mouths are unwelcome.

These verses seem to denounce women believers and condemn them to a permanently lower spiritual level than men. Taken at face value, these words contradict the equality and mutuality between male and female expressed in Galatians 3:28. Spiritual maturity becomes irrelevant where gender is concerned. Gender restrictions overrule and prohibit women from exercising certain spiritual gifts. Women are still viewed as being spiritually inferior and under a form of condemnation because God created them female instead of male. Ultimately, these isolated verses even infer that God created women’s voices to be contemptible and unredeemable.

The misuse of these verses to restrict women also attempts to keep them under the law. No wonder women can feel dragged down and stifled. So how do these detached verses make sense within the greater context of scripture? Since no written law is found anywhere in the Old Testament that fits the description in verse 34, Paul seems to be referring to the misogynistic oral law of the Judaizers. Rather than agreeing with this oral law, many believe that Paul was offering a rebuttal in the verses immediately following after it.

“(What!) did the word of God originate with you? Or are you the only people it has reached? If any think they are prophets or otherwise gifted by the Spirit, let them acknowledge that what I am writing to you is the Lord’s command. Those who ignore this will themselves be ignored. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.” (1 Corinthians 14:36-40 TNIV)

In commenting on this section of scripture, Katharine Bushnell wrote:

“Paul’s contention is, that since the spirit of prophecy, which is “the word of God,” did not, as its very terms imply, come forth from anyone but God, to attempt to control prophecy by restrictions as to who may utter it, means a dictating to God as to what instruments He may employ.” [1]

If you are a woman who has felt weighted down and condemned by Bible verses misused to entangle you and to keep you under the law, grab hold of the following life preserving words:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1, 2 TNIV)

Christian women have also been released from all guilt and shame through their Savior and Redeemer. They are no longer under any condemnation. At Pentecost, the Holy Spirit was poured out on both sexes. Women filled with the Holy Spirit were not silent but spoke out the words given to them by God.

If you would like to read a more in-depth explanation on “Shall Women Keep Silence?” click on the following link to an online copy of Katharine Bushnell’s book God’s Word to Women (first published in 1921) and read lessons 25 through 28.  http://www.godswordtowomen.org/gwtw.htm

If anyone would like to purchase a copy of Katharine Bushnells’ book, please go to the CBE online bookstore
http://www.equalitydepot.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5592

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[1] Katharine Bushnell, God’s Word to Women (Minneapolis, Christians for Biblical Equality, 2003) p. 94.  “As a scholar of Hebrew and Greek, she studies the passages in their original languages and in their historical context, discovering insights sometimes obscured by Bible translators.” (quote from back cover of book)

A book review by Anna and Ryan Snyder

This past fall, when we first learned John and Stasi Eldredge had written Love and War, a book on marriage, our initial reaction was negative, to say the least. Don’t get us wrong, we find the Eldredges’ desire to help people improve their marriages admirable. But having just finished re-reading large portions of Wild at Heart and Captivating, their books on men and women, respectively, we instinctively worried about the advice they would give. The Eldredges often claim God created men and women as almost complete opposites, and as a couple firmly committed to the idea that women and men have more similarities in their humanity than they do differences in their gender, we weren’t clamoring to see this type of approach applied to marriage.

The book, however, exceeded our expectations. At times, we actually found ourselves wanting to like it. Unfortunately, at its conclusion, the negatives still outweighed the positives.

Focusing largely on their own experiences, the Eldredges begin by asserting marriage is “fabulously hard” (p. 13). In fact, given that (1) men and women are complete opposites, (2) we are all broken people, and (3) Satan hates marriage, they say it is a “miracle of the first order” that any marriage makes it all (p. 14). However, despite these difficulties, marriage plays a crucial role in God’s story. We live in a world at war, they write, and God gives us marriage to provide us with companionship, and as a picture of his love. Thus, although marriage is excruciatingly hard, God is on our side.

With all this in mind the Eldredges proceed to discuss a number of important, marriage-related issues. From communication, to sex, to having a shared mission in one’s marriage, they offer input and advice, much of it helpful. For example, they explain how people’s brokenness contributes to problems with their spouse, and they encourage people to embrace the resulting conflict as a way of seeking transformation. Additionally, their discussion of the need for both spouses to seek fulfillment in Christ, rather than each other, was commendable. Much of their advice even borders on being pro-egalitarian; they advise a process of mutual decision-making and encourage couples to exercise authority together in matters of spiritual warfare.

However, despite its good points, we reluctantly found ourselves increasingly frustrated with the authors. Their extreme negativity about marriage was exhausting; a few of the more choice examples include comparing the exchanging of wedding vows to the special forces “vowing their lives to one another as they embark on a perilous mission in dark lands, the outcome of which remains quite uncertain,” (p. 4), and claiming “if you cannot admit the disappointment of your marriage, you have made an idol out of it,” (p. 67). They also resort to stereotypes, often attributing marital difficulties to irreconcilable differences between the genders. Sadly, by persuading men and women they are complete opposites and that marriage is almost impossible, they may well convince them their marriage is irreparable, the exact problem the authors are trying to correct.

The authors also treat Scripture carelessly, taking it out of context and providing incomplete quotations, without indicating they have done so. They use pop culture even more heavily than they use the Bible, reporting that human-made movies and stories prove how God intended the world to be. Also, throughout the book the Eldredges often muffle their own meaning with indirect, unstructured, and hard to follow writing. They are overly repetitive both with unclear and weakly constructed analogies and by restating nearly all of Wild at Heart and Captivating.

When we finished with the book, we were left wondering why our marriage is not as hard as the authors say it should be. We have never contemplated divorce, wondered whether we made a mistake in getting married, or threw our hands up in resignation to the fact that marriage is just so hard. While it is true we have only been married for roughly two years, according to the authors, we should have found ourselves wildly disappointed with our marriage by now, or even contemplating divorce, as they were at this point. Yet, while marriage is sometimes difficult, the overwhelming majority of the time we have found it to be better than we ever imagined.

So why do the authors insist marriage is so difficult? Has this been true of your marriage…or are we abnormal in experiencing a joyful and fulfilling marriage? (We doubt the latter is the case.) Why is everyone – Christians included – so down on marriage? Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy (the old ball and chain, etc.)? What causes divorce rates to hover at 50% both within the church and outside it? What are we missing?

“When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.
Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking in the country. These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.
Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.”
Mark 16:1-14 (TNIV)

When I read this recently in my devotional time, I was struck by something I hadn’t noticed before and would like to pass it on to you.

Jesus told off the Eleven for two reasons. First was their lack of faith. Second was because they did not believe His messengers. Jesus sent women to confirm what He had told the Eleven would happen and they would not believe them. Was this because they were women? I’d suggest so. Otherwise it would just have been their lack of faith.

This account is the testimony of Liz Beyer, the CBE bookshop co-ordinator

My life was a series of contradictions before I confronted the issue of biblical equality. Growing up, my family went to a restrictive church, but my parents were very egalitarian. They encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to do. From the outset, the church sent one message, my personal life sent another.

Life turned around when I became a Christian. My relationship with Jesus was joyful and full of possibilities, but the church I was attending kept putting restrictions on how I could express that. I wanted to study Scripture and teach; to tell everybody what God had done in my life! But once I started going to church again, I encountered walls – ‘you can’t’ ‘there’s no place’ or people would literally ignore me when I spoke!

During this time I got married and struggled with the issue of submission, which in this case meant doing what others told me to do. I found that I was trying to live under multiple masters. Jesus said that a person can only have one master – God. Yet the voice that was speaking in my heart was the one I listened to the least! I found that I was walking through a maze trying to figure out what messages I should obey.

We didn’t have kids for 6 years, which made me an outsider- the subtle message in my church was that to be ’spiritual’ was to have many children. I wanted to go to medical school but didn’t go because of the messages I received about my role as a woman. If I obeyed others ‘in authority over me’ I was told I would also be obeying God.

25 years later, I was severely depressed. I saw no future in the church, I had foregone my chances at education, my marriage was in shambles and there seemed to be nothing worth living for except my kids – all because I had an incorrect understanding of biblical submission. The ramifications of the church’s teachings in my life were misleading and very damaging. I finally realised that I needed to know just who I was in God. I literally had nothing left to lose. My sister put me in touch with CBE and I found the materials I desperately needed! I began to read Katharine C. Bushnell’s “God’s Word to Women” and it was like a salvation experience all over again. I went from death to life, when I learned what the Bible really says! CBE literally saved my life!

Before I was connected to CBE, I had lost everything that had any meaning, including my dignity as a human being. To all the authors who spent their time and money, along with those who have endured the costs to health, family and work to seek the truth, I want to say thank you! You are a prophetic voice to the world. I believe there will be many people in heaven who will line up to shake your hand, give you a hug and tell you how your writing changed their lives. Most importantly, our Lord will say “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter in to the joy of your master!”

It would be good to hear others’ stories of how they came to see things differently and how it changed their lives. Every person is unique and yet there are similarities in the story – it sounds familiar!