See comment 40923.

I … have found that there is a closed-mindedness in a lot of homeschoolers due in part to ignorance and a lack of biblical scholarship, i.e. the heart of God as revealed in the original languages and the whole of Scripture, investigating what theologians say on both sides of the issue, serious prayer and searching, and apathy. I was once there, so I am not too hard on them! I think that some homeschoolers will hold on to traditions for traditions’ sake (Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for this) instead of looking at what God was doing in their generation to promote the kingdom. Sometimes there is a mix-up between cultural issues and what God’s Word is.

I have found the same pervasive focus on traditions of man, rather than careful study of God’s Word.

See comment 41122.

I have a dream of starting a baking business, but I don’t want to hinder my daughters. Public education can be just as sexist. I am convinced the sexism we see in the church/Christian schools is just a reflection of the world seeping through. The consumerism has taken over, and marketing is making it clear what is appropriate for boys and girls. These defined roles that we see in the world and in our own churches are rooted in greed. I have a really tough decision to make for this year coming. Do I explore my dreams, or do I make a sacrifice for my children so that they can pursue their own dreams?

You can do both! I recommend reading The E-Myth by Michael Gerber. That and many other books can help you see a way to run a profitable business with few hours per week. I am now expanding into commercial studio space, hiring other teachers, teaching fewer students myself. It is lots of hours to launch in the beginning, but each year I can refine and work fewer hours. Ultimately, the goal of the business is for the owner to be able to be as passive as possible, almost like owning your own McDonald’s or Starbucks franchise where systems are in place to ensure profitability. You should explore your dreams, read lots, talk to other successful business owners, catalog your ideas for future reference, start test-marketing, refine your plans, and when the time is ripe – say during a long summer break – launch. I am doing my launch under the guidance of a mentor who has helped hundreds of studio owners nationwide.

See comment 41214.

Karen, you aren’t totally alone. Susan Wise Bauer is a homeschooling mom who writes classical curriculum for homeschoolers. She is quite well known in the homeschooling world.

This is good to know. I use her materials.

I’m not sure if I’m exactly an egalitarian but I’m definitely not patriarchal. I believe that men and women are equal before God, but not identical. I also believe there should be equity in a marriage but that doesn’t necessarily mean exactly 50/50. If a couple chooses a traditional male breadwinner & female homemaker that’s fine, as would be the opposite with a female breadwinner and a stay at home dad . Whatever arrangement that couple feels is best for them!

Raising children and keeping a home is valuable work even if it’s not paid and it makes me angry when certain feminists belittle it. Feminism was supposed to be about opening up choices for women, not forcing them all to pursue the traditional male model of full-time employment in a high-powered career.

The conservative fundamentalists may be the most vocal part of the homeschooling community, but they are no longer the majority. The #1 reason for homeschooling is now academics instead of religion (though for many like me religion does play an important role even if it’s not the primary impetus).

My spiritual upbringing was in in pentecostal church. My dad was a pastor. There was no “You can’t do this” stuff. None that I noticed. We did whatever was needed, wanted to do, and felt God was calling us to do. In fact, I was encouraged to do what God was calling me to do. My husband’s spiritual upbringing is “The Salvation Army”. Both his parents were (and still are, just retired) ministers. His brother and his wife are now both ministers in the Salvation Army, also. I thank God for their giftings and callings everyday. I thank God, as well, for mine.

I hope this doesn’t sound offputting-but I thank God that I was not raised in a “patriachal” household. My mom and dad make decisions together. They asked God what He would have them do. I truly am thankful for the liberty that I have. We are raising our children in the same way. No roles to be taught. Just obedience to God. Just a commitment to love and obey Him. Thanks for all the great comments on this blog! What encouragement you give. Please keep up the good work.

My husband works from home, and he is as involved as he cares to be. Today he listened to my son read aloud his Bible, and then they had a great discussion which led to more exploration of the Word of God. He helps my oldest with her trig, but I personally love teaching and would hate it if I couldn’t spend my days exactly as I now spend them.

I find home schooling, in fact the whole full-time parenting bit- the chaffuering, throwing the parties, volunteering for the camping trips, etc.-to be the most amazing and fulfilling experience ever, and I am thrilled to have the privilege of living my dreams. The only way it would be better was if I could get paid to do it in hard cash, but the fact that society does not value my work does not make my work less valuable. (I love parenting so much we host foreign exchange students so I can have even more teens to love on.)

I must confess I am starting out a tad offended, with all those comments about home schooling demanding that “a woman’s place is in the home”, as if it is somehow bad for a woman to be anywhere she feels she should be, INCLUDING the home! Am I now obligated to spend my days in the marketplace to prove my commitment to egalitarianism? Hmmmmm.

My fiercely independent daughter and my mohawk-wearing son have put us at odds with the vast majority of “Christian” home school groups here in the Southern city where we live, but there are plenty of other home schoolers out there. My suggestion to those favoring the close family relationships and the freedom for their children to grow up without being “institutionalized” : join a secular home school group.

There are plenty of groups out there open to all, and the advantage to joining these groups is learning about how other (non-Christian)families live. The advantage, as a true believer, is that we get love these people, pray for them, be a real witness to them by our love and our lives, and sometimes even are asked to explain our faith. It’s a wonderful way of life.

To all of you: Thank you so much for all your incredible work, studying and research. I don’t know where I would have learned so much if I literally hadn’t stumbled upon the CBE website. Like I said my first book on this subject was Why Not Women? by Cunningham and Hamilton. I googled Hamilton’s name and it linked me to CBE. You can’t believe how surprised I was to find out how many people were going down this path I was now on and many years before me. This “enlightenment” really began to flourish in the Evangelical world when I was just starting my married life. I would have liked to start out my family life knowing what I know now – but we can’t turn back the hands of time – we can however influence and shed light into the lives of the generations to come.
Bless you

I plant seeds for egalitarianism in my homeschool community whenever I can, but have learned that change is very slow in this area. One strong encouragement I have is my oldest son, age 17,–a robust leader and gifted speaker–who has researched and embraced egalitarian values. He loves an uphill battle, and has already become a voice for equality to his male friends and an unexpected solace for some of his female friends who have never before heard the egalitarian side of Christianity.

Take heart egalitarian homeschoolers! You can make a profound difference in how the church treats women by rocking the cradle well and rearing children who understand God’s heart for women.

Re: comment # 21:
Karen, thank you for sharing your journey with us. I agree that folks on either side of this issue can be harsh and critica. I think you misunderstood what I said in comment # 16. I did not say that the only reason anyone ever homeschools is to keep the wife at home in her “place”. I personally have known several families who homeschooled, although they didn’t always share their reasons for doing so. Some were even ahead of their time more than 20 years ago. I said that the national homeschool movement seems to be spearheaded by a political agenda to keep women “in their place” at home; thus the HS curriculum seems to be aimed at “moms”, not “moms or dads” or “parents” . I think that some of these homeschool moms, even egalitarian ones, subconciously assume for cultural reasons that moms should be the stay-at-home parent. That is why homeschooling can be a weapon against equality, even though it doesn’t have to be. I am not fond of homeschooling for several reasons, but what a shame that something with some potential for good is being used in such a negative way.

Again, my thanks to all homeschool parents who embrace egalitarianism and vigorously reject this patriarchal agenda.

In truth, we have almost never run into this ultra-conservative movement in the people we know that homeschool. Instead we have found people who are committed to the highest quality of education for their children.

My wife knows that she would have my full support to go back to work tomorrow if she so chose. She (and I) believe the best option is for her to stay home and raise our children. I would be the first to tell you that if it made sense for me to stay home and her to work, we would do it.