The CBE Scroll

‘If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty placed on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.’ (Deuteronomy 24:5)

This was actually the second instance of Scripture I noticed in my reading of Deuteronomy where allowance was made for the priority of marriage over the duties of a soldier (cf. Deuteronomy 20:7).

But, what strikes me particularly about this verse is the latter half. In a completely patriarchal society, one would expect for the exhortation to be ’so that his wife can bring him happiness’ - but instead, the opposite is being commanded. Why do you think this is the case?

To me, it reveals that the idea of marriage being created for the enjoyment of both husband and wife is not a new man-made (or ‘woman’-made) idea. I think the tendency in that society was for the men to live like it was all about them (If we read all the stories about the patriarchs/men of the Bible, it would seem that they made all the decisions - wise ones for their families and also not-so-wise-ones to save their own neck or to satisfy their desires and make themselves happy - even to take more than one woman (slave/concubine), even though that wasn’t how God wanted things.), so, in light of that, perhaps God needed to spell it out plainly that it was important to him that the husbands sought after bringing happiness to their own wives.

What do you think?

I came across a young woman’s blog the other day who wrote about how much she appreciated and was impressed by the guys in her group asking that all the girls be careful about the way they dressed so that they wouldn’t cause the brothers to ’stumble.’ And with great endorsement, she exhorted, ‘To all my sisters out there: dress responsibly.’

Back in the day in my youth group as well as my college fellowship, I heard the same kind of rhetoric being promoted. In talks about purity, it was always the girls who were called out. Fingers were wagged at the girls to be selective about what they wore in order to keep guys pure. And the message was clear: girls, it’s your responsibility to keep the guys from lusting, and if they do end up sinning (lusting), it’s your fault for not being careful!

What does this do but give a girl an inaccurately negative concept of her body and her sexuality?

Yes, it is true that women should dress responsibly (I, in no way would dispute avoiding scandalous, revealing clothes), but at the same time I would add to this young woman’s blog, ‘Boys: look away and stop lusting!’ She failed to mention this as do many youth pastors and counselors (and sadly, I must confess, even me in my complementarian days as a youth advisor).

In every message about purity to young people, it needs to be made clear that it is not the girls’ responsibility to keep their brothers from stumbling; it is the guys’ responsibility to keep themselves from stumbling. It is the brothers who need to avert their eyes and control their passions.

Have you heard similar one-sided teaching? How is sexual purity taught in your church? How can it be improved?

Thanks to John for pointing out a recent poll in Christianity Today that asked the question ‘Is it unfair discrimination for a male pastor to refuse to serve with a female pastor?’ The results were as follow:

• 45% said that it is not unfair discrimination if a male pastor refuses to serve because of his convictions.
• 25% said that it is unfair discrimination if a male pastor is serving in a church that officially ordains women.
• 20% said that it is unfair discrimination, and that it is unacceptable behavior even if it is based on a male pastor’s understanding of Scripture.
• 10% said that it is not unfair discrimination, and that it is okay as long as a male pastor does not stop a female pastor from doing her work.

And finally… what are your thoughts, on the poll itself or its results?

Mutuality  is now accepting articles (and discussion surrounding the issue) for the Spring 2008 issue on ‘Home Economics.’

Topic ideas include, but are not limited to:

• How convictions about biblical equality and gender justice apply to every day home life
• Biblical reflections: Christ as the head of our homes; being part of the family of God; Proverbs 31 woman
• How Christian convictions about women’s equality have transformed culturally-specific family models (e.g. polygamy, female infanticide, education of women and girls)
• Examples of sharing responsibility in the home; non-traditional divisions of labor (e.g. men who sew or cook; women who fix the car)
• Home economics for singles, roommates, and communal living situations
• Critique of the model of husband as head of the home; critique of traditional ‘for women only’ approaches to home economics
• Faithful Christian examples of stay-at-home dads, working mothers, single parents

Please send specific ideas or proposals to mgreulich@cbeinternational.org. The deadline is November 28th.